Practice makes........hopefully not a blubbering mess!

Our wedding is now just 17 days away, and we are both very excited, but very nervous too, we both hate being the centre of attention, and detest public speaking.

On Sunday during our practice run with our celebrant I got a bit teary and emotional when we were standing at our ceremony spot, and going through a reading.

To most people who know me I'm pretty much tough as teak, I'm quite reserved, and the one who seems to get asked for advice a bit (why, is beyond me most times!).  But my girly/emotional side don't hide too far below that teak exterior.

Mr Mel often laughs (in a good way) when I tear up, or flat out cry, during movies, tv shows, songs, even ads for gods sake!  I too easily put myself in the position of the person having the emotional experience, and the tears soon flow.

So I have decided, so that I don't end up a blubbering mess during our ceremony, I am going to read through our ceremony, maybe every day or 2nd day.  To hopefully take the emotional edge off it to a point.

(photo source)

Some might think it's a bit weird, that you want to be full of emotions on your big day, and I definitely do. But let me give a bit of an eg of where I'm coming from.

About 10 years ago I was asked to do a reading at the funeral of a family member, my first response was no, as 1 - I wasn't the biggest fan of this person, 2 - I hate public speaking.  But I gave into the pestering (in the churchyard just before the funeral was to start!).

So we get to the reading, I walk up to the altar (the Church was one we had grown up attending, and next door to my primary school), put my paper on the lectern, I looked up to the gathering, looked down at the paper to start. And nothing. Yes NOTHING. I couldn't say anything.  I cleared my throat, went to start again, and nothing. I stood there for what seemed an eternity (in reality maybe 2-3 minutes), before my sister (aka Bride Slave), came to my rescue and did the reading for me.

Now I'm not sure if I put that instance down to an intense fear of public speaking, or not wanting to give a loving glowing reading for a person I didn't get along with, or what. But to say it has put the fear of god into me when it comes to public speaking, is a massive understatement!

What has prompted this post? Well I just read through our vows, as I had to email a reading to my sister.  And tears were flowing by the end of line 2, there are 10 lines in our vows, plus the 4 lines of the ring exchange.

(photo source)

I can clearly see myself in a veil of tears not being able to talk, with makeup sliding off my face, in front of our friends & family.  Yes I'm probably psyching myself out, but I assure you it won't take much!

So I have printed out the 5 pages of our ceremony, with the bits I have to say in bold, and I am planning on keeping the soon to be tattered, tear stained copy a souveneir, hopefully it all goes well, and this will be a funny story/post to share with friends and family, post wedding! We shall see!